A half truth is nothing but a whole damn lie. Tracey's Mom

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Seuss

hmmmmm..........

value.  to appreciate, prize, treasure, esteem, praise.

A friend just pointed out to me that you can be in a relationship with yourself on Facebook.   Her excitement came from the idea that she would never be publicly single again.

I am pondering the thought, how many of us would consciously choose to be in a relationship with ourselves?

Strolling Down the Asile of Possibility

Nothing makes me happier than shopping in a craft store or a grocery store.   I love to dwell in the possibility of what can be created with all the amazing "stuff" so neatly displayed on the shelves.  I find joy and excitement hanging out with the opportunity offered to all who choose to accept the challenge.


I often observe others shopping, are they looking for something very specific or are shopping for ideas?  Are they seeking joy in the doing or the finished work?  Are they creating beauty for others? Or for themselves?


This is a real clue into who I am and what excites me.  The question remains, how do I translate this into a vocation?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Feeling as though I am stuck in Kansas...

As another year comes quickly to a close,  I find myself frustrated and confused about the direction that is right for me.  I miss the creativity and forward thinking and of being on the cutting edge, I continue to feel stagnant and unproductive.  This is not a happy place.

Where is the excitement?  The color?  The feeling like you are making a difference?  That you are part of something bigger than yourself?

Living in Gratitude

I have found the situations, that on the surface, appear to be the most trying are the ones we should be the most grateful for.  We cannot grow, move forward, think of solutions when we are satisfied.

There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them. 
  Honorable Charles D. Gill

Let me introduce my new best friend, Refrigerator!

All this rediscovery is making me really hungry!  So far it seems, the only really deep realization I have discovered is that when you start looking at your life with honest reflection you get really hungry.

I must say this really sucks, why can't I turn to exercise instead?  At lease I would look really good while I move through this process.  Or cleaning, now there's a constructive thought.

When does someone else's truth become your reality?

Who has the correct perspective?  We tell our stories filtered through our experiences and who we are is shaped gradually or so I thought.

Existing within a Funk

Sometimes the everyday is overwhelming and habit forming.

As the world appears to be spinning faster and faster, I swear I just put all my Christmas decorations away, I just can't seem to catch a breath.  Every night as I place my head on my pillow I am shocked by the passing of another day.  And to my dismay, I don't ever seem to get past what had to be accomplished for that day in order to make it to the next day.  Nothing changes and everything changes.

I will look for the motivation to create something meaningful and fulfilling.  Ummmm, maybe...

Today, tomorrow and the next day, I will continue on my very personal quest seeking a cure for the mundane,  always open the joy and excitement I know exists and is well within my reach.  I will search for my purpose and I will promise to pay attention when "it" presents itself to me.

Hah, it looks as if I have something to focus on today, I will let you know how it goes.  Wish me luck, Cheers.

What's Stopping Me Now?

I currently have three awesome and viable projects that are calling my attention.  So why can't I seem to focus and do something?  I have overused the excuse "I don't have the time", because I know deep in my heart if I wanted to get it done I would find the time.  I certainly seem to find the time to spend hours commenting on and reading Facebook posts, while interesting, not at all productive.  And, I am happy to justify the hours I spend playing Bejeweled is necessary to relax.  I think I have a very serious personality flaw.

Is there a motivation vitamin out there somewhere?  I am longing for a magic button to push...

Anyone?

When I'm old, I will not talk to myself...out loud

I promised my daughter that when I'm old I will not talk to myself out loud.  Apparently she finds this behavior appalling and very embarrassing.  My first thought was, sure, I can easily keep that promise.  Huh, then then I realized I do it now.  Holy crap, am I old all ready?  WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?

Isn't this supposed to be fun?

Who said rediscovery was going to be fun or easy?  I have spent the past several days searching catalogs, looking for self-discovery books, writing in my journal and talking to friends about what's next.  Let's just say there is a lot of happiness to be found in the mundane of your current reality.  Recreating yourself is a tremendous amount of work,  I truly believe a nap may be in order. 

Embrace your Value

To Amy

Yesterday I went to a memorial service for a woman I have never met. I heard so many amazing stories about who she was and what she meant to her Mother, Husband and her numerous friends. Thru their profound sorrow they were able to paint a very clear picture of this very dynamic woman, it was tapestry created for me with love and deep affection.

So to Amy, cheers! you have touched me from heaven and have made a profound difference in my life. So in your honor I will cherish today, tomorrow and the next day and I will love my family and friends with all my heart.

Everything I have Learned is NOT Lost

Everything I have learned can and should be carried forward. Simple. The difficult task lies in the sorting out of what I want to carry forward and what I would really like to leave behind. In addition to all the skills and knowledge I have gathered, I have an amazing group of friends ready and more than willing to support me, for that I will be forever grateful.

The laundry still needs to be done...

As I begin this journey of self discovery and as I begin to dwell in the possibilities....apparently the laundry still needs to be done. I offered my son a roll of quarters and he looked at me like I just grew another head. "And why would I need those?" he so innocently asked. "To do your laundry" I stated with all the sincerity I could muster. He really does have an amazing smile and it really works for him.

Is it my responsibility to recreate everyone around me first? This could take awhile :) What I failed to realize is that I have to take my time back and I am thinking this could result in a very interesting game of Tug-of-War. I am determined to win this one!

As much as I want to recreate and rediscover who I am, everyone around me wants me to stay the same. They will be supportive of the new me as long as I continue to be available to meet their specific needs as they arise. I am quickly learning this will be my biggest challenge.

Time passes quickly, slowly.

Really Clean Closets

I spent the weekend cleaning my closet. I was amazed by the number of things I have purchased and completely forgotten about, is this a metaphor? Maybe in addition to always looking forward and searching for something I have not found yet, I should start revisiting the what I left behind. The stuff that brought me joy in the past, the skills I have put on hold or forgotten about because I had so many other "important things" requiring my immediate attention.

I intend to embrace this journey and remain open to and accepting the gifts life is sure to bring my way.

What's Next?

I never expected this to happen. My son is off to college and my daughter is a junior in high school. They are growing up discovering who they are and oops...What's Next? I have never been someone who has defined who they are through their children, or so I thought. I can no longer pretend I am not getting older, somehow when you say you have a child in college you are no longer "young".

Apprehensive and excited about rediscovering and recreating the new and improved me.